September 25th - Birthday celebration for Takoda and Kelli

I have been looking forward to this day for the last 2 months. When I could spend time with Takoda and also with Kelli. The last time I saw either one of them was on your Birthday.

I had Omi pick us up yesterday and that did not go well at all. But that is neither here nor there really. Although Storm said he sat back and watched the show. Oh well.

When we got up to Omi's last night Luna was all over Storm and I. Omi was like Luna was the dumbest dog she ever had but Luna always sits there waiting for commands from us and won't listen to Omi when we are there. I sat there today and looked at her outside while I was smoking and I know she loved you totally and was your dog. She misses you as much as we do.

We got up there late around 3pm. Takoda was so hyper he really did not want to be held he was having a blast though. When Kelli finally got there she was able to hold him lots more then we were able to. I thought about you so much on the way home.

I really missed you and I know you would have been there if you were here. Like Kelli said she missed you calling her and telling her happy birthday. We all missed you so much today.

Omi thought I was upset because I am not close to where Takoda lives and can't see him very often. I was not upset about that I was upset because you should have been there and you would have been there if you could have been. I was upset because I missed you so much and you were missing so much. I was upset because you would have been there for everyone. I miss you and I can't hide that fact and the ache in my heart over it is so real all the time.

I can't look at Mojo or China ever without thinking about you. Luna was yours and does she really think I could forget that ever?

I looked at her today She has a disposition like you had. You were 2 peas in a pod Cody. I miss you so much. You and I had our ups and downs and we had out differences many, many times. You might have thought I didn't love you. But I love you so much.

None of this is right. You should be here and I shouldn't be without you and neither should anyone else that loved you and cared about you. Takoda should not be growing up without you in his life, but he is. Storm should not be living the rest of his days without you either and Brandy and Loralei should still have you in their lives. But none of us have you anymore and all we can do is try and honor your memory and keep you alive in our hearts and in our memories and remember you. I love you so much and I miss you so much. I have a hard time sometimes coping but I try. Someday we will be together again I really believe that. I love you so much Cody, I miss you more then I can describe to you. Sleep well my son - mom